Cruise Bio

Each year my company goes on a weeklong cruise trip to the Caribbean - Mexico (or Alaska if the HR Manager is really pissed at us). Before the trip all employees are asked to prepare short bios about themselves. These bios are compiled into a small book, which is distributed among the employees as a memento of the trip. Here is my bio for this year’s trip.

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Name: Abhishek Agrawal.

Birth city:
Etawah, UP - India. It is an overgrown village of a half a million people in the middle of nowhere

Prone to:
Frequent spells of selective amnesia

Convicted of:
2 speeding tickets and 1 for jumping a red light (and also for trying to drive through the wall). Oh yeah, once reprimanded for stealing 2 year olds ice cream.

Claim to fame:
$3000 phone bill

Talents:
Still trying to find one

Dreams of:
Making a product so efficient that customers don’t even need to buy it.

Believes:
Life is an angry bull and you are a stupid matador. You stand in its path, grab the bull by its horn and try to bring it down. The bull hurls you in the air and you land with the control of a helicopter with no gas. Even though your body is badly scratched and there is blood dripping down your face you don’t give up. You stand up once again and charge back towards the bull. The result is no different this time. You keep fighting until you are tired, exhausted and your motivation becomes that of a wet noodle. Beaten to submission you don’t know where to go and what to do. You loose all hope and THEN you make the decision of your life, YOU MARRY IT!